The Best Striptease Club in Helsinki

Crystal Show Club

If you’re visiting Finland in June, you should know that Midsummer — or Juhannus, as we locals call it — isn’t just a holiday. It’s more of a national escape ritual with the city’s streets almost empty, but for a city dwelling tourist it still presents some exceptional opportunity.

Crystal Show Club is Open 21-05 every night

First picture this: 24 hours of daylight, bonfires crackling by the lake and the busy paramedics treatimng burn victims. Most of the native the population disappearing deep into the forest with enough sausages and cider to survive a Last of Us style apocalypse, and a sprinkle of old-school folk magic (Juhannustaika) for good measure.

It’s the one weekend a year when Finns collectively decide that anything is possible — especially if it involves skinny-dipping or trying to divine your future spouse from the way your shirt folds when you toss it over your shoulder.

But even though the streets are going to look even emptier, there are still thing to do in Helsinki during midsummer.

What is Midsummer -OR – Juhannus? (In Finland)

What’s the big deal with Midsummer, anyway?

To Finns, Juhannus ranks just behind Christmas on the sacred holiday scale. And some would argue it actually wins, because unlike Christmas, it involves less family tension andsignificantly more nudity. This is the time of year when the mystical powers of the Finnish people reach their annual peak — the one weekend when performing actual magic is not only allowed, it’s expected. (Yes, really. More on that later.)

Now, according to Wikipedia and a few overly serious historians, Midsummer has Christian roots. They’ll tell you it celebrates the birth of John the Baptist, exactly six months before Jesus. That’s their story, and they’re sticking to it. But we’re here to confidently call that out as fake news of the sixth degree. So sad.Fake news everywhere. We have an unbelievable Juhannus in Finland, in fact It’s the best.

Whatever PR budget was spent trying to Christianize this event was clearly money down the drain. Because in reality, Juhannus is a wild, utterly pagan tribute to love, lust, the midnight sun, alcohol, occasional drownings, mild hypothermia, and the sacred art of trying to outlast the mosquitoes in a hot sauna. It’s a no-holds-barred, party-until-the-forest-catches-fire kind of weekend. And it’s glorious. We heard there’s already people talking about it everywhere.

Midsummer Magic, it’s the real and the most fun magic

Yes, it’s true. While it’s been scientifically proven that Finns can’t be tricked into long, unnecessary conversations, you may not have realized that we can, in fact, perform actual magic. Not the Harry Potter kind (too many scarves), but something far more powerful — the kind of magic that makes Tinder look like a slow-loading website and occasionally results in pregnancies… but, you know, the joyful, lakeside, midsummer kind.

While some of the old ways may have faded with the Spotify generation, we suspect the force is still strong in this nation. After all, people are still mysteriously coupling up in cabins and waking up smiling — so something must be working.

And now, dear reader, you no longer need to live in ignorance. We’ve compiled a few classic Midsummer magic rituals for you to try — all historically high in conversion rates and traditionally performed in the countryside, under the midsummer night sky:

  • When a woman or girl of 18 enters a sauna and uses the Vihta of a boy she does not know, the number of the birch leaves that remain on her inner thighs will equal to the number of children she will end up bearing for him.
    • (Vihta = A sauna whisk, traditionally made from birch branches that were tied together to act as a fan)
  • Spotting a four leafed clover on Midsummer means the finder is guarateed to find a willing partner that evening.
  • The number of Cuckoos performed by a bird, the Cuculus canorus will equal the years it will take you to find your true partner.
  • If one washes his / her face on the rivers running waters, he /she will be able to spot his or hers future spouse on the opposite side.
  • Throwing a shoe on the roof of a building will result in the tip of the shoe pointing to wards the direction you will end up moving in. (oddly there is no promise of sex, marriage or dependants)
  • If one rolls around naked in a cornfield in the morning mist, your future spouse will appear within that year.
  • If one collects seven herbs, while maintaining silence, and then places those herbs under ones pillow, your future spouse will appear in your dreams that night.

Guaranteed city magic that works best during midsummer nights eve but can also work through the rest of the summer:

  • Show up at Crystal Show Club early and often to meet beautiful and excotic characters.
  • Tip any doorman in the city during midsummer nights eve and you will feel safer and more priviledged.
  • If you approach a lady at Crystal Show Club with a request for a private dance, the next morning you will wake up without a hangover and she will visit you in your dreams the following seven nights.
Its midnight magic at midsummer

So what can I do during Midsummer/ Juhannus in Helsinki?

With most of the people having retreated to their summer cabins or visiting music festivals somewhere in Finland, you may fear you will miss the authentic experience. To completely extinguish that fear we have collected the following set of comprehensive tips.

Tip 1: Plan your midsummers eve around how and where you will catch the bonfire.

Midsummer in the city is celebrated across the city in parks, restaurants and terraces… But the bonfire equates to the fireworks on new years eve. You just need to see it, you cant miss it, its the only proof it was actually midsummers eve and not just some wild magical night trhat somehwo happened.

So what ever you do and where ever you go, make sure you know where you will watch the bonfire and at what time, and how you wil get there.

The Bonfires are subject to weather conditions 🙁 , so if there is a risk of forest fire, they will not happen, so its actually ahrd to give 100% accurate guidance in advance. But we can recommend a few locations:

  • Seurarsaari – island turned into outdoor museum and recreation area.
  • Kaivopuisto – a loverly park at the heart of Helsinki
  • Pihlajasaari – island a few minutes by public boat

Tip 2: Make a decicion, are you just browsing or are you all in?

This is not irreversible, not a legally binding contract. Its just plain logic. The holiday is very traditional for the Finns so to get the mpst out of it, to really absorb the atmosphere, dedicate your self to the party. Drink a little more than you would during lunch. Plan & and game some of the events listed here. If its not for you, then scale things back by all means. But its best to go all in, expect the unexpected and let it happen. The point of the party is to party.

Tip 3: Getting around is just going to be so easy its silly, so move you ass and get out and about

Ok, so the streets will be empty, and the people will gather here and there (like on the locations listed). So be prepared to shuttle around. Get a taxi app on your phone. Earlier during the day, try the city bikes and do a bit of old-school analog cruising. Remeber it will be light throughout the day and night, so dont drive (the bikes) when you are drunk, it might be 2am but you just didnt notice it. The city bikes come with a handy route planner thingy too. (Avoid scooters when you are appropriately inebriated).

Tip 4: Besides the Bonfire spot, pick 1-2 locations off this list you will check out.

  • During the day : get on a day cruise or visit one the the islands. On all the islands listed below you will be able to enjoy food and drink in a beautiful setting that will get you right in the festive mood.
  • Other things:
    • Linnanmäki – Helsinki’s own amusement park. Free entry. Ok for a quick visit, unless you enjoy the rides, you are in and out in an hour. Everyone who grew up in Helsinki has intimate childhood memories related to this place. Will be a conversation starter (remeber with Finns it will take some skill!)
    • Allas sea pool . Cool centrally located outdoor swmming pool

Tip 5: At anytime after 21.00 hrs take a taxi to the best strip club in Helsinki

Crystral Show Club is open all through Midsummer. We are known as the best strip club in Helsinki as we have the best international talent (who we take very good care of) and very friendly service.